I used to say I was an gangsta as Tinkerbell, but I doubt that's true any longer. I have my own definition of gangsta, which might not fit with the norm, but it's what I have experienced and what I can agree with.
I'm different. I'm not willing to settle for the status quo, not for me...not for my "kids". I want better than what I see around me. I want to be a part of changing what I see around me. It matters less to me if you love me or like me than it does if you respect me. Respect I will have...or I won't relate. I don't mind being hated. It's worth the price to be true to myself.
I have "attitude". If you don't like my attitude, tell it to someone else. I'm not interested in hearing what you don't like. If you don't "get me" then chances are you have fallen for the Big Lie and are still hoping to get to heaven by way of Hollywood. I don't bother with that stuff. I live right now...right here.
Sometimes I'm angry, and don't wanna hear you telling me anger is not a good thing. Anger is a feeling like any other! Of course I get angry! I live in a country that is supposed to have freedom of speech, but if I say a word that offends someone who has more money than I do, or is in a more influential position than I am, I am the one who pays. I am criticized and censored. For what? Speaking my mind? Eyebrows raise at times as I speak my truth. "You aren't supposed to say that aloud!" Why not? If it's the truth, who is it going to hurt? You would condemn me if I used drugs, but then you tell me to live in denial without them? The land of denial is not for me! There's no future at all there!
I live straight, but I live in a neighborhood where drugs are sold, so it is assumed that I use drugs, or if I manage my finances well, that I sell them! Attitudes like mine build better neighborhoods and communities. Attitudes like yours create and maintain ghettos.
I care about the people who live around me. I don't intrude on their lives. I respect their boundaries and ask that they respect mine. Some deal with life differently than I do. As long as they don't tell me how to live, I practice live and let live. I'm not responsible to solve their problems. I just care about them as people.
I am friendly to the people I like. I let the rest go. I acknowledge them if spoken to. I'm not running for office. It doesn't matter if they don't notice me. I simply want to go about my business each day with as little hassle as possible. If we can get along well and even laugh, that is fine. If not, there is no reason to worry about it or them.
So, yeah, I guess I am gangsta. From what I have seen of the world around me, it's not a bad attitude at all to hold...especially in an urban setting.
GG
